Motherhood is hard. This calling is so taxing on our emotional and physical health, it's no wonder that many moms feel worn out, moody, unhappy, or dissatisfied, after a few years or even just months.
Don't get me wrong. Motherhood can absolutely be full of joy, special moments, love, and cuddles. Admitting that you do have hard days (or even months and years) does not take away from the fact that you know this is a miracle and a blessing from God.
Below are the most common worries or symptoms which have been shared with me by other moms - clients, friends, family members, and the women in my online community. I have experienced many of these myself at some stage.
What does it mean to be a moody, worn out mom?
Mental exhaustion or feeling burnt out
Feeling tired most of the time, being more prone to get headaches or become ill, and muscle soreness. Some people also notice their eating habits and sleep cycle changing - eating less or more, wanting to sleep all the time or struggling to fall asleep and stay asleep.
You may feel sad or hopeless, overwhelmed and constantly stressed. Many women start doubting their worth as a wife or mother, or that like they have failed somehow, possibly because their reality is completely different to their expectations or the standards imposed by themselves or others. These moms may want to spend less time with family and friends as they feel too tired.
Being impatient and getting angry often
You may notice that your patience is very limited, you get worked up and annoyed by the smallest thing like your child spilling juice on the table or taking too long to follow your directions. When you do get worked up, it may sometimes feel like a burning rage inside of you, or just feeling angry at something which previously wouldn't have mattered. You may also find yourself raising your voice at your child or even screaming at them needlessly.
Loss of confidence and increased weight gain
Some of the above mentioned emotional, mental, and physical symptoms can contribute to you doubting whether you are still good enough, smart enough, attractive enough and lovable, especially to your partner or husband. This loss of confidence may also be evident in your pursuit of success in your own business, a passion project, or in your career. Your low confidence may be partly due to increased weight gain, as a result of stress, low energy, drastically changed eating habits, and poor sleep, among other things. You also may struggle to lose weight compared to when you were younger or before you had children, and sustain a healthier weight over the long term - after a year or more of the initial weight loss.
A less satisfying and fulfilling faith life
It is very common for moms to realize that their spiritual life has become bland, too routine, or completely non-existent. I am convinced that many emotional and mental challenges can be exacerbated by or even result from a disconnect from our relationship with God, or unhealthy/wrong beliefs about our worth and identity in the world at one end, and Jesus Christ at the other.
Some signs of a maturing and growing faith life are:
- Learning to discern God's voice
- Receiving and acting His guidance or wisdom
- Powerful strategic prayer, and
- Living a life led by faith and trust in Him
I am happy to let you know that a few healthy, consistent habits and choices could greatly improve your spiritual health. You should find that things like a purposeful morning routine, spiritual journaling, and intentionally working on your mindset (your internal dialog, thoughts, and beliefs) as well as how you react to the outside world, are powerful ways of supporting and healing yourself emotionally and mentally.
Lacking vision, purpose, and passion
First, let me say, I do believe that for many of us, being a wife and/or mother is a huge part of our purpose here on earth, and we should not disregard how much fulfillment and purpose this God-given calling can bring into our everyday life. But your life does not necessarily need to be defined solely through these roles.
I have heard many moms say that they don't have goals for the rest of their life, they don't know what they want from the next 10/20/30. Do you have a detailed, emotional, purposeful vision for what you want to create or experience?
Every one of us has God-given talents, characteristics, gifts, and strengths, which could all be harnessed to create amazing purpose and passion. A big part of changing how we experience any part of our lives is to define a vision of the alternative or end result - what could be or should be, our ideal life/business/health/marriage/motherhood journey.
Over the next few articles, I will be breaking down these challenges, explain what their causes or roots may be and give you guidance, tips, and advice, to overcome them.
By following this series, you will gain actionable insight and clarity to help you become a joyful, passionate, and vibrant mom.
Leave a comment below and let me know, what's been the biggest challenge or frustration about motherhood for you?
Thanks for reading!
Christine van Tonder
Faith Led Wellness Coach